Dear Gorgeous, this post is for you.
. . .
Gahhh… I ❤️ Jake Ryan so. much. 😍 And if you don’t know who he is then A) I feel super sorry for you, and B) this can be quickly remedied by dropping everything and watching Sixteen Candles. Right after you read this post, I mean. Blog post first, Jake Ryan second.
(Back to the post…)
I’m a rebel. A rule breaker. A non-conformist. Etcetera.
I’ve NEVER colored inside the lines (much to the chagrin of my elementary school art teacher — God rest your soul, Mrs. Duey, you absolute saint, you). Case in point: I gave myself a pedi this morning and, as I am wont to do (and yes, “wont” is a word — go read some Jane Austen — after this post), painted COMPLETELY outside the lines and then threw a clear topcoat over it. Once it’s dry I’ll peel it off and it’ll be like it never happened.
I tend to eat donuts & cupcakes w/a fork b/c they’re messy and sticky. Who cares? Sometimes I’ll fork my pizza too, or even fold it in half. #rebel
Sometimes I’ll even change up the color of my hair. A LOT. (sorry Mom!) 😉
Because that’s what I do. There’s rarely just one right way to do something.
And my version of self-care one day might include throwing on my PJs and watching Wynonna Earp and eating popcorn &/or Halo Top (have you TRIED the red velvet? Ho-ly shit! Chunks of effing brownies!!) rather than taking a long hot bath. I do NOT understand baths. I get sooooo bored. But if baths are your thing then that’s awesome and I applaud you and your patience!
You do you. All. Damn. Day. And God love you if you can take a bath with a book or Kindle and not drop it in the tub because I’m nowhere near that skilled.
My point is… self-care, which is ABSOLUTELY vital to your life (and collaterally, the lives of those around you), can be done however you need to do it. Mostly. There’s no specific right way, but there are certainly wrong ways (don’t be harmful or abuse your body — just sayin’).
If you’re sitting in the bathtub but can’t relax because you can’t stop thinking about upcoming bills then do something else. Hop out of the bathtub, hop on your computer (dry off first), and set up bill pay. Or brainstorm how you can cut some expenses or better yet, bring in some extra money. Self-care includes taking care of your finances.
Treat the issue, don’t try to distract or numb yourself from it, because it’ll still be there and you’ll usually be worse off than before. And trust me — I’ve both distracted and numbed myself before and it’s not worth it.
Pissed off and need an outlet? Feel free to cry and/or scream and/or throw things (preferably soft things, like pillows — at your couch or a wall). Those are all forms of self-care.
Self-care should be performed daily. It can even be just a quick couple of minutes of focused breathing in your car after work. It doesn’t have to be a huge production, and really shouldn’t be.
Pause, check in with yourself, take a moment to listen to your body. It’ll tell you what it needs. And if you don’t hear anything, just stay in the moment for a minute or two, take a deep breath in through your nose, filling your belly. Hold it for a few seconds, and then release through your mouth, sighing as you exhale. The louder the sigh the better for releasing stress.
Try it right now. I’ll wait.
Feel better? Let me know if any of this resonates with you, or what you like to do for self-care. As I mentioned above, there are no wrong answers, as long as it’s not harmful.
And if this IS resonating with you and you’d like to do a deeper dive into self-care… I would absolutely love for you to join me in my upcoming 8-week online group coaching program, Commit To Yourself. Each week we’ll be doing a deep dive into a new self-care topic and we’ll also be doing live coaching, AND there will be a private Facebook group just for the program. Click here to learn more and to sign up! And if you have questions you can reach me here. 🙂